This month has been a roller-coaster ride for me. So far, I’ve had a fistfight with two days, the 13th (Men’s Mental Health Awareness Day) and the 15th (Father’s Day). What led to the fight, you may ask? Well, they started it. They triggered me.

Thankfully, my relationship with this month (which is still Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month) was salvaged today. It’s my brother’s birthday. Happy birthday, Josphat. This piece is dedicated to you.

Back to my beef with June…

After the fight, I decided to ignore the rest of the month. I embarked on a sabbatical from my two jobs (Medicine and Writing). Unfortunately, Love called me back to the office. She’s nagging. I can never seem to take a break from her. Sometimes, it’s draining, to be honest. There are times I wish I had no capacity to love. It has a nasty side-effect of grief and pain. But then again, which Medicine does not have a side-effect? They all do.

Speaking of love, I missed you, dear reader. I care about you. I think about you all the time. Last night, I was thinking about half of you (men). Can we talk? You know, have a man-to-man chat? It’ll be just us bros. Women, please exit the piece here. Thank you for checking in. We’ll catch up in the next piece.

Bro-to-bro convo

How are you doing? Are you ok? It’s tough, right? I know, bro, I know. How is she treating you? Is she still not understanding you? She doesn’t listen, does she? That last fight you had. Was it even necessary? Isn’t it you’d told her before? Nothing ever seems to register in her mind. It’s always “me, me, me”. It’s always, “You’re wrong and I’m right”. It never seems to end. It’s draining.

Sometimes, you wish you’d been with your ex, Peace. She was nice. You didn’t appreciate her, though. She was a good one. You messed up. Anyway, you can still salvage things. Give her a call and get back with her.

What do you mean your woman won’t allow it? You can keep them both. It’s not a crime. It’s not a sin. You can have a polygamous marriage with your woman and Peace. It’s there in the Bible. Ask your Pastor.

Anyway, you said she won’t allow it. What do you mean? You mean she never leaves you two alone? She’s jealous? She wants all of your attention to herself? I get it, bro. Trust me, I get it. Women can be too much sometimes. They don’t get us. Sometimes, a man just wants to spend some time alone. We all do. Even Jesus did. It’s our nature.

And how’s work?

Did you get that promotion? Did you complete that quota? Did you get that raise? Did you start that company? You did? Great! I hope it won’t fail like the last one. That was rough, bro. You were gutted. I remember. And when you told the missus, remember what she said? “You never succeed at anything!” And she wonders why you shut her out. Her tongue. That’s why. She’s brutal with words. They sting but you can’t hit back. They say “Don’t hit a woman”. You can’t hit her with words as well. Don’t do it, bro. They’ll say you’re abusive. Trust me, don’t do it. Keep it to yourself.

What do you mean you need to let it out? What’s happening, bro? Is it hurting you inside? Really? It does? But you’re a man. They say men are supposed to be tough.

Nonsense, right? I know. It still hurts. We have feelings too. They don’t get that. But then, if you show your feelings you have to pay for it. There’s always a price. I mean, always. Remember Dick’s story?

He got fired from his job, went home and found his wife in bed with his boss. He was too stunned to do anything, so he just walked out of his house and went to his best friend’s house. When he opened the door, his friend’s first words were, “Bro, before you say anything. I have something I’ve always wanted to tell you. I slept with your wife”.

What happened next? Well, it involves Dick’s mother. She gave him the name.

Mothers, right? They can be a lot to handle sometimes. How is your mother doing? Is she still alive? You miss her. I know. We all do.

What do you mean you don’t miss yours? She did something to you? It all started with her? But bro, remember she is also a woman. Don’t you get it? It’s all connected.

And how’s your dad? Is he still alive? He also did something to you? What, he left you? Why?

Did he leave you, though? Was he not chased away by your mother? Which is which, bro? Also, remember he’s also a man. What you’ve gone through, he’s probably gone through as well.

And the kids? You love them, right? Even though they hurt you sometimes. They also sometimes don’t get it. Do you have access to them? What, she took them away from you? I’m sorry, bro. The Law is the Law. You can’t beat your kids. You can’t take them from their mother. You can’t do a lot of things because of her. Is there a way you can divorce her? I mean from Lady Justice, not your wife.

I heard there is only one way. I can’t tell you now, I’ll get fired. I can refer you to someone.

But bro, you sound overwhelmed. Do you need help? Of course, you do. You need help. But that makes you sound weak, doesn’t it?

“I need help”. It doesn’t resonate well with us, men. We have to be strong. Well, bro, you are. YOU ARE STRONG. Don’t allow anyone to tell you otherwise. Never. Ever. Stay strong, bro.

If you need help, reach out to me. I’m here for you. Remember, sad men die. That’s our secret code.